In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
I woke up and watched my kitten suck on his nipple. Way too hungover to intervene. He thought it was me, so he just giggled and mumbled "mmm girl."
Seriously? God I hope he wasn't lactating.
......... Poor kitty
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
She said she wants to move in with me. Time to black out and act as if we never had this conversation.
How are you a firefighter? People actually trust you with their lives??
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
I’m almost positive this girl is drinking a mojito in class right now, if so she’s my new hero
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
so do you remember taking your shirt off and just standing in your bra at the bar or no?
Randomize
