My mom found a condom in my purse
Correction: my mom found a used condom in my purse.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
toilet paper cling ons are not as adorable as the little red cub makes them look on the charmin commercials.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
Judging by the amount of alcohol multiplied by the amount of her exes here, tonight will be ending in tears.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
Tomorrow morning i will black in to find a christmas tree in my room that i dont remember how i got. I love college
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
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