is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I just found a beer bottle in my xmas tree while disassembling it. God, I'm going to miss the holidays.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
The strippers from this weekend suck at words with friends
SHE JUST SHOVED MY HAND DOWN HER PANTS AT THE BAR
Don't text me with that hand
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
Just almost drowned myself in the shower again. I need an adult.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
No. I don't like you. I like your penis. Chin up. At least I like part of you.
Did we go to Florida? My missing thong and DL just arrived in the mail. Return address was Tampa.
Randomize
