Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
Honestly, it was easier to just put it in my mouth than to deal with an awkward conversation.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
I'm just concerned it's gonna end up in my vagina again
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
nothing worse than walking out of class after 3 hours and having covered exactly zero information
walking out with herpes. that would be worse
Also when i was high i would close my eyes and see a puppy on a grill having pancake batter poured on it.... And for whatever reason it was fucking hilarious.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Well I woke up and my arm was bleeding. And my blood is on the wall in the hallway.
Umm
No idea. I blame fireball.
Valid.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
Should we make a shared Google doc list of places we want to fuck? Like a scavenger hunt?
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
