Is it normal to miss your booty call?
If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
he asked me out through an event invitation on facebook, the title read Romantic Dinner For 2
So i've def seen the girl running for student body VP getting fingered in a bar.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
This is the time you want your cat to have telepathy with you. To know if the guy downstairs left.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
you were exchanging tortilla chips with the guy at the next table, telling him your table was given the "big chips" because it was your 21st birthday
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
honestly performing my own hysterectomy would hurt less than my cramps right now.
Randomize
