AHHHH!!! note to self never google image chastity belt omfg
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
We have been pregaming the shutdown of the government since Tuesday. Send help, and some more liquor.
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
Nothing says I've got my life together like vomiting on the groom and passing out at your youngests sisters wedding
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
Why are there so many fucking Lambchop puppets hidden around my house?!
I have a cat for love and a booty call for sex. What else could I need?
Jello shots and homoerotic movie scenes bingo?
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
just went home with a guy that made fun of me in elementary school. this blow job is not going well for him.
Had a job interview today. Walked into the room and said "IT'S GO TIME, BITCHES".
Randomize
