just so you know, the whole club saw your tits last night. and booed.
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
I thought i lost my bra, but when i went back to help clean it was hanging up on the wall
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
please let it be arousing that I used numbers to figure out how well I'd give you head
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
he was wearing pj pants, thank you for not letting me go home with him
Randomize
