Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I may or may not juuuust be reaching the point where I find some humor from waking up in the parking lot at the standard.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
His dick is so big it could be an arm rest.
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
Tonight is an "I'm lonely and single so I'm going to curl up in a warm, melatonin and vodka enriched ball in the corner of my bed with a cat." kind of night.
You'd think that a rotation of two 30 year old men could keep me satisfied... WHY ISN'T THERE A MAN THAT CAN KEEP UP WITH MY HEALTHY SEXUAL APPETITE?!
Someone should walk up to them and say, "We're sorry, you're too hot to be out here with the other humans."
Randomize
