note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
Thats cool. we found a cat INSIDE a coke machine.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
On the plus side this hangover is the tipping point that finally convinced my lazy ass to get some sunglasses.
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
Just watched a deer get gangbanged in my front yard by 5 bucks. Wtf animal kingdom
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Nobody is here, I still yelled for someone to make me some toast. That my dear is commitment to doing nothing.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Just because you have put things in my vagina does not mean you know me
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
Randomize