He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
i think the cat found all the blow we lost...
ol I'll be okay, it's only a christmas party so the worst that could happen is I end up playing madden naked again
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
scale of one to ten how loathsome is it to save my chocolate easter bunny to use for a topping on my edibles
Randomize
