This show inspires me to have sex in space
i dont know if you remember blowing your vomity nose directly into my hand...yeah thanks for that
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
I did shrooms last night. My drug checklist is complete, I can finally graduate.
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
Ur gonna wake up early as dick tomorrow to do some responsible shit but im the one up at 3 am right now cooking brats soaked in keystone light so fuck your falling asleep ass bitch
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
he told me he was a Boston Bruins fan so I took his hat into the bathroom and peed in it...I've never been a prouder Ranger fan
I'm pretty sure they kept making references about gangbanging me but I was too stoned to catch on, I just sat there and stared at his kitten.
I just hit your bf in the face with a mustard bottle and the guy at the table next to us bowed down to me.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
When I meet her I'm going to have to resist the urge of saying "hey! We're Eskimo sisters!"
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize
