I had a dream last night that I was the one that killed Biggie
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
How do the people at CVS not know your living in their bathroom?
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
Unfortunately hes not a hipster douchebag with no life goals, so naturally I'm not interested.
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
Yay! Also. When you're coming down eat waffles and touch yourself. You won't regret it.
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
You almost got us killed.
YOU’RE WELCOME FOR NAVIGATING YOU TO A ONCE IN A LIFETIME EXPERIENCE.
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