I wanna crawl in your skin and have dreams about Bobby Kennedy tonight.
sometimes in life you just needs hand puppets
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
Teasing with taco bell is not funny. High or sober.
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Its official vodka lemonade jager and whiskey with coorslight is a bad combination of try to forget the work week cocktail ps bring alkaseltzer
I just need to stop hanging out with girls who drink wine coolers.
Holy shit, I wanna ride him into the horizon.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
What is it about fresh air and wanting to talk about penises
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