what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
and when he finished he handed me a baby wipe so i could clean up. i'm ok with the fact that he has kids, but not sure how to react to this.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
You went into the shower with my roommate and cursed him out asking why he was there
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
How do I ask where the Jello shot cups are at Walmart without sounding like white trash?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
I don't care how hot he is. I will not strip for him to country music.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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