I murdered the dance floor call the cops
so the chest pain/shortness of breath/overdose guy we just took to tm hospital is now running down market street from the police in a gown holding his iv.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
I feel like, for the first time today, we had a healthy yolo.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
Last night was good. Things got bad when I found a sledge hammer.
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she referred to her cum as “pussy butter” so needless to say we had a good night
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