The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
let me put it this way. im never saying "join in or get out" again unless i know whos in the room.
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
He just got dropped off drinking a flask, sitting on the handlebars of a chinese delivery man's bike
Tonight's gonna be epic. Did he bring my noodles?
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
So, we estimated there is at least 40 pounds of boob in our house.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
