is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
I shaved my pubes to make my cock look like it has a lions mane. to surprise the girl that works at the zoo when she comes over.
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
would he be offended if i told him that "national coming out day" is october 11. thats subtle enough right?
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
Chris threw beer can at guy. Guy ended up being a fighter. Chris got his eye socket broke. Fighter got hand re-broke. Chris is passed out. Fighter is in kellys bed. everybody won last night. I think.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I got blood in my smoothie but it still tastes ok. Fuck glenfiddich.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
I was going to learn how to knit but I got high instead.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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