you really need to stop walk of shaming home from theme parties.
I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
That haircut screams I'm 35 but I still eat pussy.
They're here. One showed up as a slutty Crayola, and I think the other came as The Fat Friend.
don't ever tell me how terrible your next walk of shame is until you run into your little brother on his way to class.
bong water from a few floors above me just splashed onto my face when i was looking out the window. Happy 4/21 to me
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.
Did someone catch you and fuck you?
This is where you say "Why yes we will drink with reckless abandon and hopefully not be in a church parking lot again."
Finding that toy duck there was weird right?
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I puked and rallied in front of a cop...and then waved at him....
Yes. I'm realizing that sports games are good reasons to drink. I just cheer when everyone else cheers.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
Randomize
