pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
Confidence is key. All I had to tell him is I'm drinking a bottle of wine and eating chocolate today to celebrate that I love myself. That's how you get a Valentine, my friend.
I have a new philosophy. Fuck wearing bras, it's summertime.
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
I will show up on your front porch in a wet t shirt and some mac and cheese
He dared you to draw a map of the USA on your wall in mustard. You drew something that vaguely resembled a velociraptor eating Oklahoma, got embarrassed because you forgot how to spell America, then hid out in the coat closet until everybody left.
My phone autocorrected "shhhhh" to "AHHHHHHHHH" and I feel like that says a lot about my life
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