I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
she said "lets play dickbreaker!" and then threw my blackberry at my dick as hard as she could.
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Broeke and glass. I feel so and. Appilogixe in morbing.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
And the view of you in reverse cowgirl is arguably the most spectacular view ever... And I've seen the Eiffle tower, the colosseum, mountains of Hawaii, Michaelangelo's David, and the Mona Goddamn Lisa. Just saying.
Of course, you have to give the courtesy text like last night when I told you my dick was gonna smell like peppermint
Dude, you GARGLED with bleu cheese last night!
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
Randomize
