Got separated, got a half bj, got dropped off in random part of the city, don't tell anyone
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
My TA just asked me why I was late to class. How do I say because I was having the best orgasm of my life in Arabic?
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
I'm at a winery and there's a 50 yr old woman sitting at a table alone with a bottle of wine and the only time I've seen her get up is to harass the hot dog guy
Dude I really need to stop drinking. I chugged a whole bottle of ketchup last night.
Totally passed out on the dealers bed after paying him all in ones so no, i dont think i'll be getting a discount soon.
How do we turn this unicorn pinata into a bong?
Dude get here. I just re-invented nachos. For real though. They werent real before right now
I'm not sure when I will get off this toilet at work but it's not looking promising
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
high I am. I am yoda. Yoda I am
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