can you wear a superman outfit if we ever have sex?
It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I just found glitter on my vibrator... whatever we're doing has to stop
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
She told me she's going to buy a projector so she can watch porn on her ceiling...I'm telling you man this chick is going places
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Are there rules against fucking your ex's dealer?
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
Randomize
