You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Dork........ .......... .. . ...... ........... .. . ... ...... .. . .... ..... .. .... ... .......... .... . . ..... Yeah its morse code, no big deal
3am cut off hipster s***'s afro on porch. Opened champagne. Felt like delilah cutting off samson's hair. Then shower & anal. So I guess his powers are intact.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
not much just sitting outside his bathroom door naked eating cheetoes. You?
HE'S BRINGING FRIED MAC AND CHEESE BITES. I GET FRIED MAC AND CHEESE AND SEX PEOPLE. BEST WEDNESDAY EVER.
You wanna see what happens when frozen corn meets an unhappy Andrew's face?
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
I told my parents how nice the girl at the frogurt store was. I neglected to mention that I nearly lost my virginity to her via foursome.
Well it was okay until he pinned my arms over my head and I found the loaded pistol tucked behind the bed... THIS IS WHY WE DON'T FUCK BOYS IN MONTANA ANYMORE
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