Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
Trying to convince my mother to let me take some of my sisters Lortab to sell is not going well
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
It was smashing those cupcakes into my face that did it. Junk food and I don't mix.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
Randomize
