her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
And she was only 16?
You say that like it's a bad thing.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
Drinking games this Saturday as usual although the ice cube tray game is banned due to last weeks incident
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
Just blew a guy who had the same phone case as me. It was destiny.
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
There's a little game I've come up with since the mess of a party I had; it's called "tinsel or condom wrapper? (or: what's that on the floor?)"
Best part though was when he wanted to cuddle and I was like, I'm going to go.
Randomize