Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Tickle wars 95% of the time end in sex.
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
im guessing your the one that tried to make bacon in the toaster
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
Apparently he took me home and I pulled up my senior pictures on fbook and made him guess what I was thinking during each different pose.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
I LIKE NICE BOXERS OKAY!? COMBINED WITH A GLORIOUS DICK JUST MAKES THIS EVEN BETTER. WE MOVE IN TOGETHER AND THAT PIC'S GETTIN FUCKING FRAMED.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
Oh wow and I have a bunch of portable wine glasses called to go coffee cups
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
