wow, i just saw a girl period all over the floor. get my shoes
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
I'm stoned entirely off resin. Licking my blankets. Merry Christmas. Jesus died for our sins. Yay Jesus. I love you.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
If I do nothing else today, the fact that I talked you into this is achievement in itself.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Randomize
