As a driver I hate pedestrians, and as a pedestrian I hate drivers, but no matter what the mode of transportation, I always hate cyclists.
The worse part is i sent a text at like three that said i was getting head... Now i have no idea who's mouth has been on my dick
She started to rub her ass on my shoulder and i instantly thought "i am going to get E. Coli"
You said "It's ok guys, I know I'm not really a turtle" and then tried walking on the lake.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
And if I hated you I'd probably say things like, "I never want to speak to you again," or, "Eat a bag of dicks." That's how you'd know.
We'll I told him I wanted to keep it PG last night, but then later I asked him to take his pants off. So i'm guessing it was my fault.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
Let's go get coffee and handcuffs.
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
Recliner chair sex has moments of worry....just don't.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
Randomize
