Halloween 2010: the NuvaRing girls. You're Thursday. We'll walk into the party chanting "Monday, Tuesday, Wednesday, Thursday, Friday, Saturday, Sunday, Everydaaay".
Sometimes i look at the biltmore estate and wonder just how small George Vanderbilt's penis was...
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
I fingered her though her window because she couldn't leave
My night ended with Em alternately crying and throwing up in the arms of a guy wearing a cutoff and a tiara. I sat holding a garbage can and wine glass full of water wondering how our night got to this point.
Alright, who started the "how long till dereck gets deported from Australia" pool? I want in on that.
somebody went from crying while watching Full House, to a full on emotional raging bull...I love this time of the month
I think the biggest problem with being overhigh is when the kitchen was on fire and I was pointing and laughing and eating rootbeer oreos like it was fucking Ozzfest 2000
I'm on the porch day drinking and the neighbor is in his yard screaming about his amazing sandwiches, maybe we should move.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I went up to u at the bar, you grabbed my face and said, "hey you're Juan right?"
He may not be good for my soul but he’s great for my vagina!
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