too bad you live with your parents still
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
They past out watching a re-run of the 1984 presidential debate on cspan
She fucked me because she said I looked like Neil Patrick Harris
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
She told me that as long as she kept starring at the freckle on her arm she wouldnt throw up
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
I just learned a new drink. Sloppy Ninja. Half Saki Half Nyquil
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Randomize
