I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I think my guts just had a chinese fire drill
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
i cant do it anymore.. every time this girl orgasms she sounds like a motorcycle
he turned two sober chicks into 7 drunken girls...he's my hero
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
I really like her...she always overpays me for xanax and still feels the need to fuck me to make up for it....
I know you're asleep, but I just had a motherfucking epiphany.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
Randomize
