What are we going to do tonight?
What we try to do every night. Take over the world
"Party in the USA" was played at church youth group last night. It was like everything I enjoy hating was aligning against me.
she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Had a drunk dream about being in a six story taco bell. Oh my god the menu was incredibleeee
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
He just ranted to some customer about fourth of July being ruined and I just shouted USA the whole time in the background. It was kinda epic
Thank god I work in a lab. This pinkeye is out of control and my safety glasses are the only thing stopping me from digging at my eye with a pen
I don't want the fire department to come out here twice in one weekend because of your god damn vape.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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