How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
so I was like, you know platform 9 3/4? I know something else with those measurements. best. pick up line. ever.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
If you ever find a dick that big chop it off and bring it to me.
She asked if I could convince him so shave that shit off his face so he'll have a snowball's chance in hell of getting laid.
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
There has been a song made about you fucking his roommate.
It's destiny.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
I woke up to a bum peeing outside my window, and he said, "This is embarrassing for you."
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
Randomize
