so I guess it's not okay to mix vodka and ..everything and then proceed to offer a lap dance to ...everyone.
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Its Friday night, and I'm sitting at home watching are you smarter then a 5th grader, drinking vodka. I got every single question wrong. Clearly you see where I'm headed in life.
Okay, we really need to start training for the St Pattys parade. 48 hours of green beer won't end well if we don't prep ourselves. 2 week bender starts now
I just saw her shopping list. The only things on it are blackberries, hot fudge and condoms. I almost don't wanna know. Almost.
Is it wrong that I want to take the baby bump in her facebook pictures as "meal-ticket"?
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I stepped in puke last night then washed it off my shoe with beer. Is there a grace period to respect before wearing them to class?
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Remember that time you puked in the middle of wendy's?
Yeah, why?
The staff still remembers me for cleaning it up. Thanks for the free frosty and fries
Heyyyy, naked guy in your kitchen, can i ask you a quick question about a legal situation in pb??
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