brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
ok watching intervention on tv. when i hit rock bottom - i wanna be THIS chick.
we went through the mcdonalds drive through and you asked for a free sample of their fries to see how you liked them.
all i wanted to do was something grown up. like go to applebees and drink.
Just did a line with lance bass. Only in NY
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
Random memory from the wedding, the bartender showed us how to open the windows and piss out of them.
Last night I flashed a car full of people my tits for a bag of pretzels so yeah I'd say I was at least tipsy.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
I just sucked dick on a ferry
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
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