I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we screwed to my bar mtzvah tape, I became a man while watching myself becom a man
Wine smoothie.... Not as good as I thought it would be
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
Is your answer to that text seriously a right parenthesis
I think I just sold a snake to a stoned teenager.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
Would you think less of me if I said I was eating a toaster strudel in the bath.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
carb up bitch. we're drinking with football players.
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I don’t know what he is but he sure can suck a lollipop.
Question: how does one descretely ask the ice cream truck driver thats out at 10:00pm if he sells weed?
Randomize
