How did you manage that?
Told her it wasn't GENITAL herpes... just ORAL herpes... on my penis
lol... jersey girls rock
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
whos cum tastes better, a guy who drinks apple juice or cranberry juice?
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
I'm sorry, that really sucks. I'm in the bath eating lasagna and if anyone comes in here it's going to be bad news for them
Sexting is killing my work productivity but it's okay because I'm self-employed
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
That time of your life is like a blur to me. There was churches, car fucking, and conservatives
I had to ask her to let go of my cock this morning so I could go home. She just kept saying "no, please, no..."
And here I am, playing fetch with my cat at two in the morning.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
