Bitch is talking to much, howd u ever get her 2 shut up?
It's worth it.
How worth it?
Back door worth it
I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
Let's make a pact to never get in a cab at 3am together unless it's to go home or for pizza.
I'm glad the dog doesn't judge me for doing leftover lines and watching George of the Jungle at 10 am
her best friend is in town and she told me that they used to fool around when they were drunk and I'd have to "help keep that from happening"
you motherfucker
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
Oooo. Can we pretend to be Amanda Bynes?
She bought wigs like Disney princesses. I want to be her.
I haven't filled him in on Operation "find a sugar daddy & suck dick for money" yet, but I'm sure he just wants me to be happy.
It hurts to hear and I can smell shapes.
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
I don't need this shit right now. I just woke up covered in pistachios
Randomize
