And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
he pretended not to hear me say our safety word. how do you think I feel?
Fucking freshmen need to learn how to puke in the bushes outside the dorm and not in the fucking elevator.
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Human Centipede: The Drinking Game. This is non-negotiable. First one to pass out the rest of us get to FEEEEED THEM!
His fucking was so lame I considered painting my nails during...
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
I just got through airport security with 5 grams of weed in my back pocket. Either I deserve a metal or the government is slacking
I'm eating dinner with his parents and my phone goes "MOVE BITCH GET OUT THE WAY!" Thanks.
Randomize
