Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Don't mind the bowl full of ashes in the sink. I meant to set that on fire.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
my mom was by far the drunkest one there. best impromptu wednesday afternoon party ever
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I'm only fucking women born in the 90s this summer
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I like shiny stuff tho if that’s an emotion
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
Randomize
