I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
Girl just walked into the bar with a T-shirt that says "I'm not Irish, kiss me anyways." Target aquired.
I still smell like men's body wash from that drunken shower I took at that stranger's home last night.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
And noooow we're smoking a ton of REALLY strong weed and THIS IS THE SOFTEST CAT EVER
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
He a gives rim jobs, because, of course a guy who opens doors and makes reservations would lick your anus..like a gentleman.
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
Well when you come back we can have a huge bitch fit...or get really drunk....whichever comes first
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
