Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
My valentine's day: watching The Notebook, and porn, eating chocolate, and ice cream. All while jacking off.
Wow... you've managed to cover all of the sad girl stereotypes that exist.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
I saw him and didn't have sex with him. Responsibility five!
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
