This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
She said "Lay the fuck down and ill show you how its done. Ill get us both off." I did. And she did. Best words ever said before sex.
He thinks that since we have been dating six months, that he can do the helicopter with his penis. Not okay.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
My inner buddhist recalls, "You receive the d when you aren't looking for it, only when the d wants you." True story.
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
Yeah man, you were grinding with his wife, I wouldn't be worried about it
My hair tie broke, stole my one-night stands daughters pink sparkly one. BEST hair-tie I have ever used...
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Hey. You got pizza and sex. How much more can you ask for?
Randomize
