two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
I'm quitting my job and I'm just going to become a professional drunk girls mistake.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
I just put a tampon in while driving. Don't tell me I don't got skills.
it makes more sense than having a misplaced asshole
im not talking about this
Alright, my brain isn't sure how to properly function on a Wednesday with no hangover and more than 3 hours of sleep.
I made a blanket fort and am drinking Gatorade and eating donuts watching 500 days of summer. I can't keep spending my saturdays like this.
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Happy birthday, you long dick monster
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
He obv doesn't know that telling a woman to chill will get him murdered
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
Randomize