I threw up red last night... I wanted to pinch myself because it wasn't green.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I bruised my spine.. Jungle gyms were clearly not meant for sex.
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
Its... i dont even know. theres lots of rap music and i cant find my shoes
It's either my own vomit or popcorn butter in my ear right now. Banking on the second one.
We made popcorn last night. So it's both
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
My mom just said we can't get married in nude body suits to look like earthworms. She's ruining my life.
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Randomize
