i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
9 of the 12 girls i had sex with in college are on facebook
it was an ugly road back then. i'm sure time hasn't been friendly.
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
There is resin on and IN the refrigerator. Its even on the food. My god, what happens to you?
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
There's glitter all over his bed from my Pink VS panties... I think I might invest in similar styles as a way of marking my territory just incase.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
Randomize
