it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
there was naked duck duck goose
how does that even get suggested?!
after naked leap frog.... it wasn't that big of a deal
A kid in my class brought a George Foreman and cooked food mid lecture. When the prof found out, all the kid did was ask if he wanted some.
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
I put the condom across her upper lip. It was like a mustache of a job well done.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Dude, you chugged an entire bottle of tomato sauce and got us free drinks for the night. No way was I gonna stop you.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was jumping over your garbage can screaming "Im a snow cat!!" ..Who wouldn't want to see that?
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Last night I made out with two lesbians while dancing with another girl. I'm pretty sure it wasn't even real life.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Did u find my other sock in your bra? U said u were uneven so I did the gentlemanly thing.
Randomize
