Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
she used her cellphone as a light to find my clit under the sheets. worst.lesbian.ever.
i wish that every time i slipped on a sheet of ice i had the ability to recover with a michael jackson move
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
I know this may seem inappropriate, but are you gonna bring any blow to the wedding?
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
You know what it feels like? It feels like I'm in that prison from the dark knight rises. That's what being a virgin in college feels like.
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He's gonna be so upset when he get's a real job and can't do serious drugs.
He legit watched "Cops" the entire time he was fingering me.
She said she is going to be sex-slave version of Princess Leia for halloween. You think there is any way I could pull off an attractive Jabba suit?
She has a bong hits for Jesus shirt. Of course I'm going to like her.
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Randomize
