everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
New universal law, if a movie has a Rob Zombie song in it, its probably a bad movie.
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
Be here at 9 and look fabulous. We have drag queens to impress.
Well she got high, deleted the essay she was working on, and then ordered dominos. We all manage stress in different ways.
GDI YOU HAVE THE GOD OF FUCKING THUNDER'S NUDES AND YOU DIDN'T SHARE
And you said I'm not athletic, I rubbed one out with my sports band on, it's the same as walking 1/4 mile.
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
I just found out through a drunken phone call that my parents thought I'd grow up to be a porn star. It's kind of scary how accurate they were at how skilled I'd be at sex.
Randomize
