no more hot dogs for you........
fine no more vajj for you
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
It was total unicorn galloping on a fucking rainbow awesome.
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I nicked my vulva while shaving and I'm about to go on a date where I will be having sex. Which bandaid: My Little Pony or princesses?
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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