Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
if reincarnation is for serious, i better be a guy in my next life
with a huge shlong
massive. i wanna make bitches cry
I am midnight drunk by noon
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
she tossed me in the back of the car and said "god gave u the gift of life and I wanna swallow it"
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
Are you scared? I basically plan on us looking like giant drunk skittles
Sorry we couldn't "turn off the mirrors." How're you feeling today?
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
Randomize
