he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
This girl told me I had the balls of an infant..I replied by saying her vagina looks like Stargate.
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
Hey sis... Don't forget moms day is this sun. And don't get her another gift while you are freakin high this time. The vibrator was embarrassing.
FYI the vibrator was a SUCCESS. She was in a much better mood this last year. Maybe you should get high this time and get a great gift
I mean I had a leg brace. It would have been irresponsible for me to be on top.
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
I think he pocket dials me so much because I'm in his phone as 'Air Mattress'
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
Only you would consider your best friend fucking your boyfriend to be a sign of everlasting friendship
I'm always down for nudity.
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