So how was last night?
Let's just say I danced with the devil
Huh?
I'm going to Hell for sure
dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
so i decided to listen to you and went ahead and slept with him. you owe me 3 minutes
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
Theres two guys using a blow up doll to hold their beers while they float around the pool
Im on my way, tell them to get ready for a high-five
What was your penis's nickname in high school? Also, what was it's theme song?
your drunk mistake has arrived...he is the one wearing a poncho
honestly, i'm just crying in the kitchen naked and eating salsa
And I was chasing apple pie moonshine (provided by cops) with bud light limeys. In a golf cart, wearing a tiara.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
Just chugged a Bloody Mary in 60 seconds flat. New personal best! Happy Sunday!
I think my nap took me to another dimension
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Randomize
