he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
Tonight is one of those "I'm wearing a shirt as a dress" nights because I need to get laid.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
I'm genuinely dissapointed that we didn't make any fat chicks cry
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
In 30 minutes I will have been sober for an entire month. Time for a celebratory lap of cheap alcohol that leads to early liver failure.
But happy liver failure. That's what counts.
I recommend we watch the Super Bowl together and have celebratory sex if we win. Good news is I don't have a team I dislike so were guaranteed a win.
He woke up & asked where his pants were then asked where he was then asked who I was. Been married 20 yrs. He was drunkest ever.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
you told me you wanted to be a soccer mom with a high tolerance then you put the bottle to your face
just had an allergic reaction to my dildo. My life is ruined.
I've had way too many dicks in my mouth the past two weeks. Ready to go back to school and be a doctor now
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