those are such fre$h shoes
going to ignore the use of the word "fresh" in a sentence that isnt related to produce and/or other food stuffs and especially the part where you replaced an "s" with a dollar sign
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
Did i actually sleep there? Or did i just get sand everywhere?
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
It is not a successful senior year unless you show up to campus without pants at least once, right?
My mute roommate is using sign language to ask a guy to fuck her.
how do you feel about japanese?
I would eat half a street meat hotdog I found on the sidewalk, I'm good with anything.
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